I’m tired of being a “fat girl.” I know, you’ve heard this before, this time–I’m serious.
I guess all my life I have been obsessed with my weight. I couldn’t understand why until a couple years ago I realized, so is my mother. She is a very petite 5’3” and 113 lbs. Well, she freaks out when she goes up to 116 lbs (on our trips to Vegas) and she insists that she wears a size Medium or sometimes Large blouse/shirt. It’s incredible how as much as we try not to be our parents, sometimes it just happens (and that my friends is definitely another blog)
Anyway, no matter how much weight I lose, I still think I’m fat. I remember in college when I was modeling (yeah, believe it or not) I went down to 100 lbs. and my goal was to weigh 99lbs. Cuckoo. I can admit that now, however my idea of skinny is to be able to hide behind a coconut tree. Yeah, Cuckoo. BTW, my whole fat perception only pertains to me, I really do admire anyone who is comfortable with their body image.
Over the years here on Maui, I have become Oprah with the yo-yo weight gain and lose game. I have done so many weight loss programs…Master Cleanse, Isagenix, Flat Belly Diet, South Beach Diet, Somersize and all those stuff on the infomercials. They are pretty extreme and if you go back to your old habits, the weight comes back on–especially in your problem areas. Well, two months ago I found myself the fattest that I had been since the “Freshman 15lbs” a whopping 137lbs. This may not seem a lot to you, however when you are standing next to 17 yr old girls in coconuts, you need to fit in on the dance line. It was bad, my friends and co-workers said they couldn’t tell–that’s because I had become master of camouflaging my fat, to the point where I should probably teach a class. How did it get that bad? I hurt my knee in March and hadn’t surfed or really exercised plus the eating out and cocktailing can really add up. I had been ignoring the signs as well, you know, clothes getting tight, excuses for not going to the beach, most of all, I had been avoiding mirrors and cameras. I know exactly how Samantha felt in Sex in the City Movie.
In July I started the USANA program and did well for two weeks until my trip to San Diego. Then went on Isagenix to jump start my weight loss then set back with a trip to Las Vegas in August. If it wasn’t one thing then another and now it’s September. I felt defeated…then I randomly picked up an issue of Maui Time and opened up the first page and saw the ad for Body by Laser and booked a consultation with Dr. Anthony Jayswal. I decided that I was going to do it along with an eating regimen called Ideal Protein. These two programs change your lifestyle and implement and exercise regimen, its not easy. Stay tuned as I report on my progress and what this whole thing entails…if I fail, I guess I’m gonna need to invest in mu’u mu’u…how fitting as I will probably be as big as a cow! Moo Moo!
p.s. I leave you with this poem The Fat Suit